This is the first of what I hope to be many posts blogging the intimate details of my life for 2009. Of course, 80% of those posts are probably going to be about as captivating as watching paint dry. But that’s what I hope to change. I didn’t make a New Year’s resolution for 2009. I couldn’t think of a resolution that I could actually maintain after the first couple of weeks into the new year. But something changed today.

I’ve decided to become proactive in making 2009 the year that I want it to be. I want to breathe new air into my life, and step outside my boundaries. I’ve always been one for rules, for structure, and for plans. I feel I’ve been too hard on myself, and I’ve limited the opportunities that are available to me. I’m not thinking outside of the box, and making things happen. That’s what I want to change. I want to make it my resolution for 2009 to come out of my shell and make things happen. I want to do things I’ve only thought possible in my dreams. I want to see things that I’ve only ever thought about.

I know I’m only young, and I have my whole life ahead of me. But that’s exactly why I want to do this. I want to live every year of my life to the fullest. Somewhere along the line, with everything that was happening in my life, I lost a part of me. I lost my motivation, my creativity, and a great part of my imagination. I want it all back. 2009 is going to be the year everything turns around for me. The last year hopefully, that I work in retail. I want to look for a new job, something creative, fun, with spontaneity. Something that I can thrive on to better myself. Not stopping there, I also want to look into going to Uni, or at least back to Tafe. I want to make something of myself, and not just be stuck in a dead end retail position. 

There are big changes coming in my relationship with my boyfriend. Moving in together is a big step, and I’m scared that it might be the beginning of the end. After everything that happened with my ex-… I don’t know what I’d ever do if I lost him. He’s the one constant in my life. He’s always been there for me. He helped me pick up the pieces when everything went to hell and my life fell apart the first time. He’s always looked after me, and I have everything to thank him for. I could never pay him back for the love he has given me, I could only hope to make him proud of what I do with my life. I want to do this for him as much as I want to do this for me. But above all, this is something that I need to do for myself. So although this is a big step for us, a big scary step, it’s a chance I’m going to throw myself into, head first. It’s going to work, and we’re going to be stronger as a whole. 

2009 is my year, and I’m going to make good on that. So let it begin.